What constitutes change?

I’ve gotten hung up lately on change.

The title of Seth’s post that got me to New York included the phrase “change your life”. What’s tripping me up now (actually has for two months) is what that actually means.

I think I came here with the expectation that it meant changing me. That what was wrong with my career, my life was something with me. Which is true in a sense in that I am not clear about my purpose, I undervalue my contributions and I focus on doing over imagining. All of which does have to change if I want to change my life.

What I thought needed to change was getting more education, learning, knowledge around certain things, which would then cause people to value me more and give me some idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

But what I’m stuck on right now is thinking that changing my life means changing me. As in changing the person I am – a doer. Is it a necessary component of change that I change from doer to visionary? Or does change mean embracing who I am and being better about selecting situations where I can be that at my best?

If I manage the second type of change, I can see where that would change so much for me. To be in situations that allow me to shine, to receive my due, to make a difference. Does that change my life? You bet.

But there is the nagging in the back of my head that still says that changing my life means changing me. As though I, in and of myself, would never be able to shine, be valued or make a difference as I am.

So what truly constitutes change for me?

Loving my miss match self

Have I mentioned how much I love Little Miss Matched? I was first introduced to the socks by Seth’s blog (and he really does wear them every day!) and so of course, I had to do a lens – one on the socks and other gear and another on the bedding and furniture.

Being in New York – home of Little MissMatch – I’ve had the opportunity to track down LMM products to see them for myself and they’re even better in person than I expected. There’s a kiosk in Grand Central Station (a full store coming this spring!) so I got to check out a sampling of items in person and wow!

The colors on everything are vibrant and brilliant and the quality far surpasses my expectations. The fuzzy wuzzy winter gear is amazingly soft and my friend reports the gloves are actually quite warm.
And a lot of it is in the clearance area right now on the site and well worth looking at as options for next winter. I scored socks in the new spring designs and one of my friends got a pair of the flannel pajamas. (It’ll be winter for a while still where she lives.)

Can’t wait for the full store to open in May! I’m hoping they’ll carry some of the bedding so I can check it out as well and report back. But given the quality of what I’m seeing in the socks and gifts, I have no doubt that they’re worth investing in. If you know a preteen girl (or a woman with a keen sense of fun), anything from them makes a great gift idea!!

Umm - hello spring?

The view outside my window yesterday on the first day of spring. Not quite what I was expecting.



The snow didn't stick around long. By the afternoon, it was gloriously sunny and I had my coat open.

The view today.

I am evolving

Everywhere I go these days, I notice things I never did before. And I think about them. I try to figure out what they are, what they mean, why they are.

I ponder why Sarabeth chose to change her story with a restaurant in The Whitney. Does she really make enough money with the rude staff, mandatory tip and limited (and marginal) menu to make the compromise worth it?

I feel the difference between Toys ‘R Us in Times Square and FAO Schwartz a few blocks away on 5th Avenue. Does the crass commercialism of Toys ‘R Us really work for them or do they just benefit from a great location and “wow” ferris wheel? Just what is it that makes FAO Schwartz so different when they sell a lot of the same toys?

I move from being annoyed that the electronic signs at the train station only show me the useless information of the calendar date. Is this a conscious choice by the MTA or an oversight? Is it helping or hurting their story? Or do they just think they don’t need one?

It’s fascinating to see the world through some slightly different lenses.

There is no magic fairy dust

I’ve been pondering expectations lately. Specifically just what mine were of this SAMBA program. I applied on a whim, for the fun of imagining the possibilities, never actually expecting to be here. In the whirlwind of the application process, interview, Christmas, family tragedy and moving, I’m not sure my thoughts about what I was getting into went much farther than a subconscious thought.

Seth is going to sprinkle his magic fairy dust on me and change my life to something fabulous.

I should have read the fine print because there is no magic fairy dust. Dang. There’s just hard work and abstract concepts and desire and determination and stubborn refusal to give in or up. Whatever magic is involved has to come from me.

(And then a miracle happens … .)

More from the book stacks

Another month, another look at the books we're reading as part of the SAMBA program. And some that I'm just reading because they're there. (Seth gets almost a book a day in the mail from people hoping he'll blurb or blog about them. So there's plenty available for reading.)

We took up sales in the last few weeks and as part of that, read Zig Ziglar's Secrets of Closing the Sale and Neil Rackham's SPIN Selling.

We also started talking about story - how to tell them, how to tell what they are, how to create them. The concept is the key component to Seth's book All Marketers Are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World, which we read. Well, I'm still only halfway through it because we had to get to the selling stuff, but I seriously have to finish it because this story thing is really throwing me for a loop in our business plan.

I started talking about self-esteem, status and comparisons, things I tend to struggle with. I do too much comparing myself with others, which is part of why I liked grades in school. But it's distracting!! One of my fellow SAMBA participants loaned me Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton, which has been fascinating (and another I'm only halfway through). It's not for everyone, but an interesting concept to ponder. Except for the part where de Botton seems to thing status anxiety is a recent phenomenon. Guess he never read the Bible or studied ancient Roman history.

I'm also about halfway through The Blue Sweater: Bridging the Gap Between Rich and Poor in an Interconnected World by Acumen Fund chair Jacqueline Novogratz, which releases tomorrow. Having been to Africa and seen some of what she talks about, it's really hitting home for me. And making me want to go back and do something.

Of the books I picked up at a literary event last month, I've managed to read The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You'll Ever Need (which is really a graphic novel and thus really quick to get through) and want to tackle The Knack: How Street-Smart Entrepreneurs Learn to Handle Whatever Comes Up by Norm Brodsky and Bo Burlingham next. (The same guy who loaned me Status Anxiety says its fabulous and I love Norm's column.)

I also got started on The Shack during my trip back from Dallas. Another guy in the program loaned it to me, but I haven't had a lot of time for "fun" reading. (Wonder why? :-) But I'm going to finish it. So far so good. It's a bestseller for a reason.

So that's the reading list so far and for the near future. Enjoy!!

Feeling fractured

Talk about trying to thin slice a market. And by market, I mean me.

I'm fighting against shut-down mode at the moment, that mental state that happens when you have too many competing priorities and are uncertain where to start or what to do so you just do unimportant things. Like play solitaire or try to find the end of the internet.

So what's on my plate that has me in a brain freeze? We're tweaking our business plans for a second presentation Tuesday, and I know I need to be thinking about stuff like what's our story. Instead, I'm in research mode pulling facts on the competition. I'm halfway through three books that would be really good for me to finish so I can move on to the big pile. I'm behind on my daily blog posts for our internal SAMBA blog, although I have managed to write at least one thing this past week worth posting to the public blog. My hubby is still back in Dallas, and I'm concerned about whether he's going to run out of soap and lotion. I have a Squidoo project proposal I've submitted but don't have a clue how to actually do (video help anyone?), and I'm not sure how to fit it into the schedule anyway. I have tons of Squidoo lenses that could use some updating, and I am behind on promoting anything there so some new lenses aren't getting the traffic I'm used to.

Total overload.

So I end up starting this blog post, then going to read something, then looking for a piece of info, then starting a comment to someone else's blog, then realizing that I've completed exactly none of these things. Which leaves me feeling like I'm going in a circle and getting nothing done.

Total unproductivity.

Which leaves me a little depressed because I'm all about checking things off the list and getting them off my plate. The depression makes me feel even more overwhelmed and in turn makes me even less productive because it feels like nothing I do is really making headway.

Total shut down.

Fortunately, just writing, finishing and publishing this post combats this downward spiral. And I'm going to make a list of just what I want to get done today. Now that the day is half over. Sigh. Love you all for listening!!

(Like the picture? It's a close-up of fractures in thick ice by John Dunn available at Art.com.)